I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
