You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
