Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
