I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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