I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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