At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He passed out mid-signature
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
