Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
