Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize