I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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