I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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