Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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