How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
