i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Randomize
