I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
