nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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