The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Small penises have feelings too.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
