She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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