how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
