i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
