Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
