have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
