I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
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She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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