You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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