can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
