Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize