Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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