You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I lost the right to judge tonight
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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