So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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