That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
