I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Everyone says I win the strip club
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So vagazzling was a success
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
