Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
