We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize