was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
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And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
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Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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