sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I have fence marks all over my body
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
