dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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