Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
