Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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