I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
