You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
