I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
This baby is an asshole
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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