If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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