He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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