Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
