He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
