I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
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In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize