would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
