we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
What drink are we having for lunch?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
