What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
