the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
