I wanna bring you to show and tell
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
That's when you crack a 10am beer
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
There r osticjed everywhere
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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