Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
