I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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