I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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