What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
