i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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