Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
