i don't like sucking hair
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
