hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
