Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
