i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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