I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
