ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
